Are You Holding Your Sex Life Back?


You’ve read all the findings, are aware of how good a healthy sex life is for you physically… you’re informed! If you still ‘can’t get no satisfaction’ and wonder what the hullabaloo is about, it may be about you. When this most intimate of acts feels mundane it may leave you wondering if you are just different, or imagining that something must be wrong with you. Should you have an affair to see if it is your partner or even perhaps engage in an illicit anonymous one night stand just to see what might change?

Before you leap from the pot and jump into the fire, hold on to your dignity and try a little tenderness, for yourself! There are some clues that you may be standing in your own way to real fulfillment. See if any of the following apply to you while you are engaged in the act:

1) You are always conscious about your physical appearance, wondering if your partner finds you less attractive or desirable than other people they have been intimately involved with.

2) You are unsure about and always wondering if your partner finds your sexual performance acceptable or lacking in some way.

3) You are hyper conscious of all of your movements and how your partner perceives them while engaged in a physical union. You begrudgingly engage in acts that are not satisfying to you to ensure your partner will not find you lacking.

4) Self-denigrating thoughts fill your mind in the moments leading to and during the actual act of engaging in sex with your partner. You always imagine there must be something wrong with you because you don’t feel what others say they feel or your partner suggests you should feel.

5) You have a controlling nature, don’t trust your relationship and are careful to make sure things are on track with your partner. You may be always wondering why you are together and expecting your partner to leave the relationship.

You are the only one who knows how you really feel about yourself, your partner and your relationship. The simple truth about all of us is that we must love ourselves before we can love another. This does not mean envisioning that you are in any way superior to or better than another person. It means accepting all of the parts of who you are and feeling comfortable in your own skin. When you can do this, you are released from many of the chains repressing your emotions.

Self-acceptance and a gentle loving, caring attitude about protecting the parts of you that you value most will allow you to reject requests you are not comfortable with and still engage with abandon in the most intimate of acts, that of loving someone completely! It is your willingness to engage in abandoning all of those repressive thoughts that cut the final chain preventing you from reaching the highest levels of fulfillment.

Source by Alexa Keating

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